Monday, December 31, 2012

A Mother, Wife & Professional's New Years Resolutions

I don't typically make it a point to write out New Years Resolutions. I'm not saying that I don't believe in them; I'm just a very reflective person throughout the year. With that said, I think for those that are not as reflective, resolutions can bring out the best in people. I am going to go ahead and write out a few for some self awareness. I consider my resolutions, the resolutions of a mother, wife & professional. I want to be the best at all of the above & I struggle with each of them.
-First, I will try not to let my fear have so much control of me. This requires some explanation. When I became a mother, I also became a terrified nurturer. Feeling such a strong force of love is terrifying. It's never fully understood, until you stare at your new baby. You realize how much it would hurt if they were no longer yours- if things you couldn't control, took them from you. I spend a lot of my time anxiously listening to noises in the middle of the night (suspicious wind sounds that mirror murderer sounds). I scan the crowd at the movie theatre nervously praying, that we will not become victims to a madman. I get misty eyed when I think of the first time my daughter comes home from school & her friends have been mean to her. I want...I need to work on these things. I need to understand that there is so much that I cannot control. I need to accept this fact & not let it control my life & occupy my every thought.
-Secondly, I want to make more time for my supportive husband. We need more date nights & less homebody nights (I must repeat this to myself over and over and overrrr).
-Much like everyone else, I'd like to be more healthy. This doesn't require much explanation. I want to feel good & I want to LOOK good!!
-I have a lot of goals for myself professionally; I want so much for my life professionally. I want to be comfortable in my own skin & not feel so intimidated by others with far more experience than myself. They were once far less experience than they are now. 2012 was such a year of change. At times I was so scared of the changes and possibilities, that I lie awake night after night. Towards the end of 2012, things started slowly picking up for A Stylish Affair by Jessie. I want more. I truly believe that it isn't work if you love what you're doing. I want to be more excited & less nervous. I will be successful (I must repeat this to myself over and over and overrrr).
I'm sensing a trend...perhaps my resolutions are more of some type of mantra. Regardless what they are, I feel good writing them out.
I hope everyone has a wonderful 2013. I hope your resolutions are full of reflection & self awareness.

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